


Loop

by Rosalia (pentamerone)



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, Nightmare, Post-Canon, Veronica feels guilty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 21:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12198141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pentamerone/pseuds/Rosalia
Summary: In less than three months, Veronica Sawyer’s life changed much more than she ever expected. If she must be honest — something that she used to do a long time ago, almost another lifetime — it was a ride to hell and back.  And, what was the worst part, she wasn’t sure if she really came back.





	Loop

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this time I'm really nervous because it's my first work in English with more than 100 words. I know that it possibly has many mistakes, so I'll be thankful for all advices. 
> 
> I hope you can still enjoy it! (:
> 
> 06.10.2017: Thanks for lovely Splashy for correct my mistakes!

In less than three months, Veronica Sawyer’s life changed much more than she ever expected. If she must be honest — something that she used to do a long time ago, almost another lifetime — it was a ride to hell and back.  And, what was the worst part, she wasn’t sure if she really came back.

At least, not completely sane. Completely sane people don’t get stuck in loops.

Not literally, of course. That would be more stupid than scary. And what Veronica saw every night, wasn’t stupid. It was terrifying.

Every-damn-time when she fell asleep, she was back in Heather Chandler’s bedroom. Every-damn-time Heather’s pretty face suddenly turned bloody red and her eyes grew bigger and bigger because of blue flames inside her throat. Seeing it was worse than anything else. Even Heather’s high-pitched scream, ‘corn nuts!’, became the scariest thing Veronica has heard in her whole life. In those dreams everything was the same as was in the morning when Heather died. Or was killed, if you prefer the truth.

Everything but one detail.

There was no J.D., just Heather and Veronica, red and blue. And, of course, purple on Heather’s face when she died. Or was killed, if you prefer the truth. This time only by her friend.

That was the worst thing. The reason why Veronica stayed sane — or, at least, not completely crazy — after all of that ‘J.D. thing’ was her personal mantra. She used to speak to herself, “it wasn’t you, you never meant to kill anybody, he lied to you”. But her brain was against her and showed her scenario, in which she’s killing Heather Chandler with awareness of what she’s doing. Every-damn-night.

It wasn’t fair, right? She felt guilty for everything she did, wasn’t it enough? Couldn’t she finally enjoy normal life? Go to some college and marry a lawyer? To be honest about the last question, future like that wasn’t exciting, not even a little bit, but after everything she went through because of J.D., life full of routine looked perfect for her.

Unfortunately, the only routine she could count on, were those nightmares, in which she’s been killing her best friend again, again, and again.

In fact, anger was only a mask. Deep in her heart, Veronica felt like she deserved nights like this. She didn’t understand one thing — why it’s only Heather. Why not Ram and Kurt with steaming bullet holes? Why not J.D., blowing up himself right in front of her?

It took some time until Veronica realised that she has seen only Heather because she didn’t miss anyone else. After all the rage, irritation and bunch of other negative emotions, she had to admit that there weren’t only bad days. She had dozens of good memories with Heather Chandler. With all of Heathers, but Heather Chandler, ‘the demon queen of high school’, had a special role in every picture Veronica could find in her mind. It would be impossible to call Heather an angel or even a good person… but when she wasn’t mad, Veronica didn’t forget all of these times when she had fun with Heather. To be honest, she probably had more nice memories with Heather than other Heathers, even if Veronica joined them as the last one.

“You’re my pupil”, said Heather Chandler once with mysterious smile on her pink lips. Back then it looked like a joke; one of many Heather’s joke that couldn’t be understood by anyone but herself. Now it had more sense, even if Veronica didn’t want to think about it. Her friend was no longer here and analyzing their common past only made things worse.

So she tried the same thing she did after she saw her crazy ex-boyfriend blowing himself right in front of her: she tried to move on. She hid Heather’s watch in the box at the attic and did the same with rest of the souvenirs. Even with the red scrunchie, scarier than a cursed doll from a horror movie. That scrunchie was a pure symbol of Heather Chandler and her power. Doesn’t matter that Heather Duke and Veronica herself wore it too — Heather Chandler, Queen Bee of Westerberg High, owned it forever. Before she hid the scrunchie, Veronica sometimes felt like it was her own loop. Like it could arise on her neck and strangle her until she became purple too. And like hiding it could rescue her.

At first, Veronica thought it worked out. She didn’t remember every night perfectly but after all of these nightmares it was a good sign. But nothing lasts forever, right?

If it’s so, Veronica’s peace definitely was something because it lasted for less than a three weeks. After that came another terrible night. She woke up with a scream on her mouth, what wasn’t a surprise after last few months. But, when she suddenly open her eyes, there was something definitely new.

Or someone. Veronica wasn’t sure if a ghost could still be considered as a person. And Heather Chandler was dead as dodo, so there was no other explanation than ghosts. Except the fact that ghosts didn’t exist but it was negligible detail when she saw her-dead-as-freaking-dodo friend sitting on her bed.

“Damn, you look like a moron”, she said, rolling her eyes in that jaded way which always drove Veronica crazy.

“I… I thought… You are…”

Words stuck in Veronica’s mouth. It wasn’t possible, not in any way she could think about it. She wanted to prove herself that it’s just another nightmare, so she sat instantly and caught Heather’s hand.

She hoped to catch only air but no. She really held the dead girl’s palm. And her skin was cold as stone. As it always was. Heather Chandler’s hands were cold as her heart — one of the most known truths in Westerberg High. 

“Now it’s literally the truth”, giggled high sharp voice in Veronica’s mind. But she didn’t shudder because of this words. Not even because of cold. No.

She did it because Heather’s body pulses like there was something under her perfect white skin, boiling water or something less… normal. Veronica looked again at her friend’s face.

“You want to know what it is?”, Heather asked with smirk on her lips. “It's worms, sweetie. I’m dead, remember? I’m laying six feets under and worms have their own prom in my body. Not the same thing as being prom queen but it’s still better than having no body, am I right?”

Veronica couldn’t utter any word. In fact, there were no words she could say now. Or ever, if Heather would visit her again.

“You know, I met your little crush. He’s kind of a loser, although we died the same way”.

“What are you… He blew himself! And you… We…”

Heather rolled her eyes again.

“You still don’t get it, do you? We both died before your eyes. What a pathetic death, by the way. I deserved better”.

“I don’t understand…”

“Of course you do. Or you will. There is just one thing that I and dear Jason Dean have in common”, Heather looked at her meaningly and… sadly? Veronica didn’t know. “Now, if you excuse me, I must go”.

“Will I… Will you come back?” she asked, when Heather stood up slowly.

“No. At least, I don’t think so. Not that I don’t want to but… it’s hard to explain, you know”.

She smiled again but softly this time. It was different, strange and heartbreaking in some way.

Veronica couldn’t remember what happened next in this crazy dream — it was a dream, it must be — but she woke up with dried tears on her cheeks.

Unfortunately, after that night her nightmares came back. Not like she cared about it. She didn’t care about anything at all but Heather’s words.

What could she have in common with J.D.? It was nonsense. They were like ice and fire, completely opposite of each other!

It took her another few weeks until she realized. Or finally stopped telling herself it’s all her imagination.

Heather and J.D. both died before her eyes. But it was deeper. They both died before the eyes of someone they loved. Or, at least, they thought they did.

And, Veronica realised, she was stuck in a loop with the one she killed.

And, what was even more important, the one she loved too.


End file.
